"Round."

"My first thought upon seeing her was 'circumnavigate.'" 


[Be warned, Snowl's about to go into a rant.]


Alrighty boys--for any of you who failed to learn it in Social Relationships 101, -never- call a girl "round." Nothing good can come from it. Either she'll think you're calling her fat or well endowed. Either way, you're likely to get slapped. 


One of my creative writing buds recently decided to write a couple of his gal-friends into his newest story. Yes! A character based on me--how exciting, right? Such an honor! Said writer friend even gave me a list of special power options to pick from. I was pretty pumped about it. Who wouldn't want to be portrayed as an epic sassy heroine with mad fighting skills? Who even trains owls to do her bidding? Pretty cool, huh? I thought so until said name-sake character was introduced with the rotund adjective "round." And he wasn't saying I was well endowed. In fact, said "friend" thought it would be a cute idea to base the character's appearance on her owl-loving. So she has a round face, round glasses, etc etc. *POP!* There went my starry-eyed dreams of epicness. (Not that there is anything wrong with being round, it's just not particularly fearsome. Feeear the Snowl.) [I personally loved my character--who wouldn't want to be based on an Eurasian Eagle Owl? So stylin'.] Oh, and Orville made it into the story too. He does my bidding and talons-attacks my enemies. Owl-minion, attack! [...] *Orville slashes foes to shreds* Snowl: MWAHAHAH! I am invincible!! >=D [Don't let this go to your head, Snowl.] Right. Sorry. So anywho, after reading this line, and then having a couple other fellow-writers read it, our little anime-loving-nerd-group-of-awesomeness proceeded to give feedback on the writing. Which then turned into a series of 'round' jokes. [Hence the quote at the top.] And although said writing friend hopefully knows I was joking about taking offense to this description (after all, it's not like I can manipulate water in real life either) (that you know of), it still seemed worth noting to all other young men (who hope to reproduce someday) that your life will be considerably easier if you learn a few tips on what to say (or not to say) to a girl. "Round" would be one of the words to avoid. [Duly noted.]


Thus ends my rant for the evening. Have a good night--and when you're reading a new best selling fantasy in a few years with an owl girl complete with a trained minion named Orville, you can grin at knowing the backstory to this tale.